Sunday, March 22, 2009

Helicopter Haircuts are LAME!!!!!


Never in my life have I seen a haircut like the one above. As lame as this haircut is, you have to give credit where credit is due. It's awesome!!!! I think the person who created this piece of hair art is a pure genius. I think they should expand their repertoire and include items such as: Tanks, Aircraft Carriers, Fighter Jets, Missiles, and other assorted military related vehicles/items. I hope this girl is going to a fancy dinner somewhere, you know, like Sizzler or something.

Having a Helicopter Haircut is LAME!!!!!!!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Greg Paulus is LAME!!!!!

True, I have already posted one anti-Duke video with a reference to Greg Paulus, but this one is too good to pass up. As a UNC fan, there have been many DOOKIES I thought were pretty lame.

1.) Lee Melchionii
2.) Steve Wojciechowski
3.) Josh McRoberts
4.) Jeff Capel
5.) Casey Sanders
6.) Matt Christnesen
7.) Taymon Domzalski

These are just a few that got on my nerve over the years. Paulus takes the cake. He tries so hard to be the new WOJO. Slapping the floor, Making out with Coach K, and Going to Prom with the prospective freshmen.

Enjoy the clip below, because I know I did!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Not Double Checking Your Packaging is LAME!

Check out the picture below and let me know what you think. Personally, if this item makes it through packaging with this going on, they need to take another look at that employee. I know its 10yr old "potty" humor, but you to admit it's kinda funny. Who do you think has it the worst? I'm going with the Alligator since he is supporting the most weight. It also appears that the hippopotamus is enjoying his view.


Not double checking your packaging and noticing the Orgy of animal toys going on is LAME!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

DOOK IS LAME!!!! (NSFW)

In honor of the ACC Tournament kicking off today, I had to revisit an old faithful. No explanation necessary. The video says it all. Also, How long has Greg Paulus been at Dook? Seems like that guy has been there forever, Lame-o!



GO HEELS!!!!!

LAME Spotting: Notre Dame, More Like Notre LAME

Good use of the word LAME.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The URO Club is LAME!

I found this beauty today browsing around the Internet(s) and thought it was a joke at first. I golf, but I wouldn't say I'm a golfer yet. I like to go out and play a round every couple weeks, but I'm not super competitive. I mostly like to drive crazy in the golf cart and drink beer. Drinking a lot of beer on the golf course leads to frequent urination. What do I do when the flood gates need to be opened? I run behind a tree and go. That's half the fun of playing golf, getting to pee outside. Girls might not appreciate the feeling, but Fellas you know where I'm coming from. It's something about the cool breeze and being one with nature. Good stuff!

However, the little beauty below takes the fun out of everything mentioned above. Who wants to whizz in a fake golf club? I sure as hell don't. I think the idea for this product was founded loosely based on the following events.

A couple of old guys are drinking a little Scotch on the rocks in the clubhouse after a nice day of golf. The Scotch is flowing like water and they are talking story about the ole' days, beer was cheap and the women even cheaper. They discuss how annoying it is to have to go into the woods and let it go. One of the "brighter" old men yell out-loud, "Why don't me just hollow out a club, stick the club in front of us, throw a towel over top, and fill her up!" Geez Stan, thats a grand idea. And the idea is born.



The URO Club is LAME!!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Funny Video of The Week: Hitler Hates the Lions

I was turned on to these videos browsing Hot Clicks on CNNSI and I thought they were pure genius. Check it out and then go to YouTube and look for more of these.

Video Game Endings that are Lame

Do you remember spending hours upon hours in front of the TV playing Nintendo and finally beating a game expecting a fantastic ending. Something that would be so awesome you might try to take a picture of it. But you are actually treated to a lame ending written in poor English, or maybe some lame explosion. How annoying was that? I remember playing Tecmo Super Bowl and I had just won the Super Bowl for the first time, playing as the Washington Redskins and I was expecting my mind to be blown. What happens? Well, my mind was definitely not blown and I was sorely disappointed. The game ended with the coach being held above the team with the wording; "Super Champion, Washington Redskins Below" the game then proceeds to list the players on the team during the credits. How lame is that? Even for being so young, I was expecting so much more.

Check out some other Lame video game endings below.



Video Games that have Lame Endings are LAME!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Courtney Paris is Lame

So this bright young Sooner is offering to repay her full amount of college tuition ($64,000) if her team fails to win the Women's NCAA National Championship. Why is this so lame? Well, March Madness for women is just as competitive as it is on the Mens side. The amount of talent and luck it takes to win a National Championship is absurd. Plus we know that guaranteeing a victory in sports pretty much cements your chance of losing the game and turning into a huge jackass in the eyes of the media. Not to mention that the UCONN Huskies are unbeatable. Seriously, if you are going to do steroid testing, check those beasts out. They are a whole team of lady Ivan Dragos.

Courtney Paris do your team a favor and don't guarantee squat. Once you lose in the tournament it's going to be extremely difficult to pay your tuition back on the 45k you will be earning as a WNBA rookie. Maybe the WWE would be a better career move. You could team up with Chyna and create a pretty formidable tag team. Stop & think before you speak!

I'm now going to pull against the Oklahoma Sooners and I hope you lose. Too harsh? Eh, whatever, don't make lame guarantees that you can't back up.

The guarantee of Courtney Paris is LAME!!!!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Interview with Zach from The Big Picture


If you haven't stumbled upon The Big Picture then you should slap yourself and your mama! The Big Picture is a killer blog focused on sports and the hilarity that is in sports seen through the eyes of a talented writer named Zach. We approached Zach about helping us out and doing our very first interview and he was gracious enough accept. Check it out below and make sure to check out his site The Big Picture.

1.) With websites like Facebook & Myspace do you see these sites as aides in the marketing of a blog?

Sure, a little. Many blogs seem to have MySpace and Facebook pages, and while I think the idea there is that it might pick up some new readers, the reality is that it doesn't help much.

2.) What do you think about people who stop reading blogs because the owners of the blog place paid ads on the site?

I think those readers should jump in front of a truck. Not actually, but ads are reality of blogs -- especially blogs that become the author's full-time job. To put in 20 hours a week for fun isn't, well, fun. To put in 20 hours a week for fun AND for a few hundred bucks is much better.

My rule with ads has always been that if it isn't an eyesore I'll run with it. Once an ad compromises the look of the site, then it's gone too far.


3.) Gaining readership is the lifeline of a blog, along with content. What are some ways you have utilized to gain readership?

Seems to be the question that everyone wants to know and few do.

Many will say that if the content's good, the site will get noticed and thrive. That's certainly true to an extent, but a blog's growth is so dependent on Internet-word-of-mouth, meaning LINKS!

If you write something you like, send it out to sites that do a daily link dump. Deadspin, The Big Lead, Awful Annoucning, Busted Coverage and SI's Hot Clicks run some good link dumps that will help the smaller blogs with traffic. Don't be shy sending an email to those sites with a link to a post you wrote.

Aside from that, post regularly. If you're not posting at least once Mon-Fri you're behind the game. Just about every current sports blog posts at least five times a week and many do far more than that. I think quality is more important than quantity, but if I find my way to a site that hasn't updated in a week, I'm outta there.

It also helps to have a niche. I can't speak to this as I write a general sports humor blog. But to focus on a particular team, sport or subject helps as it will narrow the focus of the writing and probably help with hits from Google searches.

So there, I just gave three good ways to increase traffic. All of our sites will be up to 100,000 uniques/per day by next week!


Now that the "boring" questions are over, lets get to the meat & potatoes.

4.) In your opinion was the Barry Zito contract worth it?

Worth it? No. Absolutely insane and horrible and I want to slaughter Brian Sabean with a cleaver? No.

People will look at the money -- $126 million over seven years -- and see one of the worst contracts in baseball history, but he was a former Cy-Young winner and the Giants were desperate. Money just doesn't matter anymore in sports. It's a number and that's about it. It's so out of control -- especially in baseball without a cap -- that that's what you need to pay for a big-name guy.

Here's the part of the deal I hate: 7 years. The shelf life of a successful pitcher just isn't that long and Zito was already on the decline before he wore black and orange. And if he was lousy, then you'd be stuck with him for seven years or eat that huge contract. Well, looks like those are the options now, huh?


5.) If you could bring back a "retro" sports jersey from any team, which would you choose?

That Astros jersey always gave me a hard-on.


6.) What is one of the lamest things you have ever seen in sports in your lifetime?

No playoff in college football.

7.) Greatest Washington Husky athlete of all-time?

Toughy. It could go back so far. But I have a bias towards Brandon Roy as I went through UW with him and he did so much for that basketball program -- taking it from a perennial doormat to back-to-back Sweet 16 appearances. And I got to interview him and party with him a few times.

8.) Name your top three greatest sports movies of all time?

3. Major League
2. Field of Dreams
1. Bull Durham


9.) If your life had a boombox that followed you wherever you went, what song would be playing?

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. What, too cliché?

10.) Bill Simmons from ESPN refers to the Oklahoma City Thunders as, "The team that shall not be named". How pissed were you when the Sonics left Seattle?

Not at all actually. I'm not a Seattle native (just went to school and lived there for a while), so the only team I gained an alleigance to was UW. And I hate the NBA the way a man hates his wife, so I'd probably prefer contraction than relocation anyway.

Big ups again to Zach from The Big Picture for taking time out and doing our first interview. Like I said before take some time out of your day and go check out The Big Picture, it's worth it!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Songs about Breakfast are Lame, but Kinda Funny

Take a look at this Gem! Who doesn't love a song about breakfast, but it's pretty damn lame. To write a song about the most important meal of the day has to be lowest you can go in your musical career.

I will warn you, the song is kind of catchy so watch yourself. You might end up singing it at breakfast this weekend.



Singing songs about Breakfast is LAME!!!!!

Ted Nugents "Love Grenade" is LAME

I was listening to one of my favorite radio shows (Free Beer & Hot Wings) on the way into work this morning, and they played Ted Nugents "Love Grenade". Have you ever read the lyrics to the song? If not, check them out below, they're hilarious.

"Im not allergic, allergic to pain, no matter how hard I try I crave you so bad, it drives me insane, if I dont have you I'll die..I am a dangerous weapon baby, Im your machinegun man Dont make me shoot you down baby, I just wanna be your....Love Grenade, Im comin in, Love grenade, pull the pin, Love Grenade, Look out below, Love Grenade, Im about to blow....

Im on the frontlines, the fronlines of love, jump in a foxhole with me Your body armour will do you no good, you'll be my 1st casualty...I am collatoral damage baby, I got your love IV

You'll never take me alive baby, just wanna be your.. Love Grenade....

I am your kamakazi baby, I am your dog fightin man I am the ace in your hole baby, yea yea yea yea yea,

I am your Love Grenade, comin in, Love Grenade pull the pin, Love Grenade Love Grenade Love Grenade

Love shrapnes, love shrapnel..... sex shrapnel, sex shrpanel, Love Grenade Love Grenade"

Sex Sharpnel, really? If you want to hear the song in all its' glory, check out the video below.



Ted Nugents "Love Grenade" is LAME!!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Jay Cutler is LAME

If you know me, then you know that I'm a huge San Diego Chargers fan. I have been ever since Natrone Means "Business" became a Charger after he was drafted out of UNC.

The Chargers have many rivals in the NFL. All of the AFC West, the Patriots, Colts, and even the Steelers. However, the team I have come to have the most animosity towards has to be the Denver Broncos, one of our hated AFC West opponents. To be quite honest, I didn't mind the Broncos until whiny Jay Cutler was drafted. This guy is a Grade A 100% certified douche. Not only did he talk crap to Rivers when the Broncos were getting pasted by the Chargers 23-3 in the 4th Quarter, but he goes on all these sports talk shows and continues to run his mouth. What a fool!

How awesome was it that the 2008 AFC West Championship came down to the final game of the regular season? The Chargers were looking for redemption after that BS loss to the Broncos in the second game of the season. Still a little bitter about the first two losses of the season by the Bolts this year. We obliterated the Broncos 52-21 to make into the playoffs and I'm hoping we mad Jay Cutler cry a little as well.

With all the above being said, this is why Jay Cutler is lame. This offseason the Broncos were entertaining the idea of trading Jay Cutler. It was reported they were interested in acquiring Matt Cassell from the Patriots and then going to move Cutler. How should you respond when your team doesn't think you are the QB for the future. You work harder to prove to your team that you are indeed the QB of the future. Is this what Cutler does? Of course not, he runs to the media saying the Broncos are disloyal.

“My understanding at this point is they're trying to trade me," Cutler told The Denver Post. “We'll see where I end up at. I liked it here, I liked playing with these guys but obviously they're not going to let me have that opportunity.”

Did Cutler get traded? No. Did the new coach of the team Josh McDaniels re-assure Cutler he wasn't going to be traded? Yes. Did this satisfy Cutler? No.

“I'm upset. I mean I'm really shocked at this point," he cried to the newspaper. "I don't know if they think I can't run the system or I don't have the skills for it. I just don't get it…I've heard I'm still on the trading block.”

Seriously Cutler.... Grow up and stop being so Lame! If your on the field performances were good, then you wouldn't have to worry about being traded.

Jay Cutler is LAME!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Square Root Days are LAME


I was decent in Math while in school, but I never advanced above Algebra III Trig. As I was browsing around this morning, I noticed a little post on the side of a website saying today was Square Root Day. What in the world is square root day? I did a little Googling and I found my answer. Square root day is a goofy little holiday celebrated on dates where the day and the month are both the square root of the last two digits in the current year. An example of these would be: Today's Date. March 3rd, 2009 or 3.3.09. The next square root day will occur on April 4th, 2016 or 4.4.16. The last square root day of the century will take place on September 9th, 2081 or 9.9.81. I admire the intelligence of a person who started noticing these dates, but I think it's a little exaggerated. However, I could see the Big Bang Theory doing an episode on these dates, which wouldn't be LAME because that show rocks!

Finding Math Equations in Dates is LAME!!!!